Is anger disrupting life at home and at school? Therapy could be the answer you and your child have been waiting for.

Even before I began training as a child and adolescent psychotherapist I would have people bringing their children to me for anger management issues. This was a particularly common request for parents of 10 to 12 year old boys with Asperger’s / High Functioning Autism.

In Reading, Oxford, London, Wallingford and Thame there are children and young people who seem unable to process their feelings in a healthy manner. They often choose to block their feelings and sometimes this causes those emotions to erupt in a torrent of rage.

I also offer counselling and psychotherapy for anger management online, using vsee, whatsapp, zoom. Please get in touch for details.

Parents of children and adolescents with ASD are more than familiar with meltdowns and will have experienced such things from their child’s earliest years. Those whose children don’t slot into the spectrum, however, may be wondering just how their loved one came to be quite so angry.

When a child suppresses their feelings they don’t just go away

therapy for angry teenagersOh no, they really don’t. Emotions have to be processed, metabolised and thus neutralised. This is how emotionally healthy people deal with life’s challenges. They listen to their feelings, accept their right to have them and take appropriate action. When this is done the feelings are done, dusted and dealt with.

If, however, a person learns to block them, then they just fester beneath the surface. They build and seek an outlet. Sometimes they come out in what Freud would have called neurotic forms – OCD, phobias and suchlike. At other times they prove corrosive and develop, over time, into depression. They can, alternatively, erupt in forms of panic or anger.

If you’re here because your own child has adopted anger as a means of expelling pent up emotions then I’m sorry. I do understand the effect this has upon him or her and the people around him.

It can become a self-perpetuating cycle. The child erupts into anger, he turns people against him or pushes them away, this increases the bad feelings in need of repression and thus leads to more socially and academically destructive outbursts of rage.

This cycle can be ended. Resolved! Counselling for Children could help

I have worked with anger issues in both adults and children / adolescents. I know that teaching a person to manage their feelings more effectively can lead them to be rid of the need to cathart their emotions in a burst of fury.

I have a wide range of approaches, ready and waiting to be tailored to the particular needs of your child. I have been trained to use music, art, craft, play, mindfulness, hypnosis, counselling and psychotherapy in a unique blend to suit your child or teenager’s age and personality.

Whether your child is 5 or 15 years of age they can learn to make sense of their feelings, deal with the issues which lie behind them and manage them more calmly, comfortably and confidently.

What does lie behind their anger?

It’s really not easy being young. When we look back at our own childhoods we often look back through rose tinted spectacles. we remember the good times and tend to minimise and forget just how difficult so much of that time truly was.

Children and teenagers are struggling against a lack of freedom and independence, parental and societal expectations, peer pressure, academic pressure as well as other issues surrounding appearance, sexuality and the constant comparisons which they are forced to make as a result of being tested against their school mates.

Am I good enough?

happy child therapyFamilies, even the best ones, generate pressures too. Do I match up to my siblings? Do my parents love me as much as they love sibling X, Y or Z? Am I as good as my parents want me to be? Am I allowed and encouraged to express my feelings or am I told to be quiet, to behave, to fit in?

Divorce, financial insecurity, bereavement and more. What has your child had to put up with? Children and teenagers can be expected to put up with a great many things over which they have no control. If they don’t learn and aren’t encouraged to process all this in a healthy way then they will decide that their feelings aren’t worthy and need to be suppressed.

This can be particularly true in a family where the parents aren’t great at dealing with feelings either. Children learn from parents and if a stiff upper lip is demonstrated to them as an adult way of being, that’s what they’ll learn to adopt.

That’s where these problems begin.

Resolved! Counselling for Children can help you

If you live in or around Reading, Oxford, London, Wallingford or Thame and would like your child to learn how to deal with their feelings more effectively then please do get in touch. I will be more than glad to talk with you, explain how I work and discuss precisely what it is your child, or teenager needs to resolve.

I can be contacted on 07786 123736 or by paul@resolvedcounsellingforchildren.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes

Paul Hughes signature