Your child can be free of anxiety, focus and perform!

If anxiety is getting in the way of performance then one of them just has to go!

performance anxiety teenagersHello and welcome to my website. I’ve been working with performance anxiety ever since qualifying as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. Across Reading and Oxford there are children and teenagers who learned to let go of performance-inhibiting anxieties, thought-patterns and habits through a combination of mindfulness, active visualisation and other counselling and psychotherapeutic approaches.

Performance anxiety can strike in every endeavour, particularly when they’re carried out in the public eye. I’ve helped clients in Oxford and Reading to overcome performance anxiety when dancing, acting, swimming and running.

I also offer counselling and psychotherapy for performance anxieties online, using vsee, whatsapp, zoom. Please get in touch for details.

I’ve helped children and teens to feel more positive, focused and in control whilst competing in gymnastics, acrobatics, equestrian sports, ice-skating, football, cricket and many more sports besides.  

Academia doesn’t escape either. Where there’s an exam there’s a young person whose anxiety risks getting the better of them. I see dozens of people for this anxiety alone. 

There is always a solution. My job is to help children and teenagers to learn how to find it for themselves.

How does performance anxiety begin?

anxiety sports adolescentsIt may be that there is a deeper and longer-standing problem with anxiety which has now found something new around which to crystallise itself. It may be that there is an unpleasant event lying behind the situation. In athletics, gymnastics and acrobatics there is often an accident which knocked their confidence and they now find themselves unable to perform to the best of their ability, least it happen again.

Perhaps, in acting or exam anxiety, their anxiety got the better of them and they found themselves forgetting their line or unable to access all the facts they’d absorbed through revision or suchlike. They froze and found themselves failing. Once again, they are now afraid of fear itself and this paralyses them each and every time.

The brain becomes better and better at recreating this fear. After all, its purpose is protection. It’s trying to keep your child away from the feared situation and the more afraid of fear your child becomes, the more it grows and strengthens.

Learn to be OK with the fear and things begin to improve

I have worked with plenty of children in Oxford and Reading, using counselling, psychotherapy and other approaches, in order to help them to reverse this nasty little vicious circle. Helping people to become more relaxed around adrenaline helps them to be more relaxed. Helping them to recapture past feelings of what it was like to succeed, to be in that state of flow, teaches them that they can be more in control of their feelings. 

phobias in teenagersEverybody knows that they can think back to dreadful times and recapture those feelings of anxiety, grief or anger. This is why so few of us voluntarily choose to think back to them. If you’re reading this then perhaps you might try it as an experiment. Just think back to some horrible time in your life (don’t go as far as recalling genuine traumas) and remember every detail with every sense. Try to remember how it felt and remember where in your body you felt that feeling. Most people will be able to do this to a degree. They will be able to bring back those awful feelings which accompanied that time. 

Everyone knows they can do this and so we tend to avoid recalling those events as far as we can.

Fewer people realise that they can go back in time and re-experience what it was like to triumph, to succeed, to feel confident, calm and in control. I teach my clients to re-summon those times. For they can use these times to over-write the fear response to performance related situations.

Every time your child anticipates the next exam, performance or sporting event it’s as if they have a video of the expected disaster playing in their head. Over the top of this video is playing the ‘soundtrack’ of fear. 

I help my clients to use their imagination to a positive end. I help them to summon strong feelings and to have those, confident feelings and to super-impose them upon a video of success. This approach, in addition to a wide array of other approaches, can undo the vicious circle which has brought you to this site, looking for help.

Your child can work towards achieving the flow state

Mihály Csíkszentmihályi identified the flow state as being the state of mind in which thinking takes a back seat and instinct kicks in. Every sportsperson and performer craves this state. It’s where training becomes second nature and where active thought becomes unnecessary. Perhaps your child had it once and lost it. Perhaps they hadn’t quite achieved it, yet. In either case, flow is the state which I encourage and assist my clients in achieving. 

If you live in or near oxford or Reading and if you’d like your child to leave their performance anxiety behind them then please do consider getting in touch. You can call me on 07786123736 / 01865600970 / 01183280284. You can email me on paul@resolvedcounsellingforchildren.com or you could contact me using the contact form at the bottom of this page.

However you choose get in touch, I look forward to hearing from you.