Resolved! Counselling for Children could help your son or daughter to regain that sporting edge!
‘Flow’ is that state of mind where thought sinks into the background. In the state of flow we rely on our unconscious mind, that part of our mind which has learned how to perform so well that we really don’t need to think about things anymore. It’s every performer’s ideal state. It’s why they train so hard and for so long, in order to know just how to perform, what to do and when.
I have worked with gymnasts, acrobats, golfers, footballers, equestrians, ice-skaters, dancers and all kinds of athletes. I have helped them to recover their state of flow. I have helped them to let go of fear, however it was acquired, in order that they could perform to their best once more.
I work face to face with clients in Oxford and Reading. I also offer counselling and psychotherapy for sports performance online, using vsee, whatsapp, zoom. Please get in touch for details.
How does competence in performance develop?
Have you ever caught yourself thinking “that looks easy, anybody could do that!” This, I’m sorry to say, is the stage of sporting development which sports psychologists call ‘unconscious incompetence’. You’re no good at it and you just don’t realise how hard it is.
When you do give it a try you find that it’s actually rather harder than you imagined. There’s a lot more to it than you’d imagined. You feel a bit bad for having under-estimated how much skill the activity takes.
If you were to persist with the activity you’d find, over time, that you could learn to do it. It takes, however, a great deal of thought and concentration. This is the stage of ‘conscious competence’. You can be quite good at it but it’s always an effort.
The state of flow I mentioned earlier where you have practised so hard and for sufficiently long for the activity to become unconscious. You can do it with your eyes closed. You can do it without thinking. It’s just second nature, as easy as walking. That is the state of flow.
If your son or daughter has lost their ability to perform to their best; if they’re losing the joy of that sport they once loved so much, I could help.
How do young people lose their sense of poise in sporting situations?
After all, when unconscious competence becomes conscious it’s a reversion to a less-skilled way of performing. Having to think consciously about what we’re doing slows us down, renders us less at ease and leaves us performing somewhat less skilfully than before.
Sometimes this can be because of something obvious. Having an accident and suffering an injury when performing is one of the most frequent causes of child and teenage performers having to walk through my door.
Breaking a bone, tearing a ligament and suffering the perceived humiliation which results from being carted away can prove to be a powerful lesson for the unconscious mind. The state of flow is an unsafe state and back to conscious control we go…
Sometimes events completely unrelated to performance can get in the way. It might be that there has been a spate of bullying at school. It might be the pressure of exams. Perhaps parents have divorced or a girlfriend / boyfriend has dumped them. Any psychological disturbance, no matter how unrelated it seems, has affected their performance and it has thus caused them to retreat into conscious competence. Performance anxiety can become the result and the problem worsens.
This is where I can help…
The memory of that ability to harness the state of flow still exists within your son or daughter’s mind. I could help them to harness that ability once again. I could help them to process the memory of whatever it was which led them to lose that state of flow. I have helped professionals of every stripe to move past their internalised handicaps. I could help your child or teenager to recover their enjoyment of their sport or activity too. Once they learn to enjoy it once more the return of their state of flow isn’t going to be too far behind.
Get in touch with me to find out more. You could call me on 07786 123736 / 01865 600970 / 01183 280284 or simply email me on firstname.lastname@example.org. Alternartively, simply use the contact form at the footer of this page and I’ll get back in touch as soon as is possible.
I look forward to hearing from you.